I'm down to 8 days until my due date. It's hard to believe in some ways - I've been pregnant for 9 months! Reflecting on my pregnancy, I've thought about some of the not-so-tactful comments I've gotten from complete strangers as well as people I know. Of course, I assume that these people meant well but just didn't express their good intentions in the right way. After doing some reading on the internet, it turns out that I'm not the only pregnant woman who has received these comments and has been bothered by them. I took some excerpts from a couple of different articles to compile a list of the top 4 things that you should never say to a pregnant woman. Believe me, we really don't want to hear them!
4. "You must be having a boy/girl because your butt/nose/feet are so HUGE!" Literally dozens of old wives' tales exist that are touted to predict the gender of a baby based on how wide a pregnant woman's nose or butt have gotten, if she's carrying the baby high or low or if her belly looks like a basketball or a watermelon. Please resist the urge to predict a baby's gender using medically and scientifically unsubstantiated old wives' tales, unless it's something like, "you're having a boy because of how drop dead gorgeous you look!" She may not believe it, but she'll appreciate the effort.
3."How are you feeling?" This question, while typically sincere and coming from a genuine place of concern, can wear on even the most positive and upbeat pregnant women, particularly if it's the tenth time that day. She knows she should say, "I'm feeling great, never better," but you know she really wants to say, "my feet hurt, my maternity clothes don't even fit anymore, I'm tired and have trouble bending over to tie my shoes. How are you feeling?" Again, the key to interacting with most pregnant women is emphasizing that she's still normal, even though she weighs more than she even thought possible, is eternally uncomfortable and is hormonal to boot. Don't dwell on her "condition," instead, give her the opportunity to open up to you if she needs to.
2. "You haven't had that baby YET?!" A pregnant mom lives with her pregnancy EVERY day. She doesn't need to be reminded that she's 5000 days past her due date, and that she looks like she's going to pop. She knows this. Her back hurts, she wakes up 4 times a night to pee, she has trouble walking and her feet have gone up two shoe sizes. Instead, offer her a seat and a cookie — and a foot rub would be nice too.
1. "Are you having twins?" If someone is having twins, they will tell you. I promise they will tell you.
3 comments:
Thank you, honey, for this post! My eyes lit up when I read your number two point. I finally know what is wrong with me--I am pregnant!!
Daddy really said this. I love you so much and have continued to pray for you each day as you have traversed a new and entirely different path these last nine months. I have been so proud of you in the way you have dealt with all the difficulties of becoming a mother. Even though such comments irritate a pregnant woman and become a point of distraction and irritation, always remember that a woman is never more beautiful, more radiant, more important than those months she spends carrying, growing, and nurturing her child to the day of birth. I have loved watching you in your pregnancy, the way you already protect and love Noah, and have loved looking at your pretty face alive with such contentment and awareness of the important role God created you to do.
I'm sorry that you had to endure all of those questions (some of them dozens of times) over the last several months.
If only more people would read your post, or at least think about their words before they speak.
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